Monday, October 30, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
What kind of face do you find attractive?
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can
differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with a spear lodged in his chest and tape over his mouth while he is on fire.
No further studies are planned.
differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with a spear lodged in his chest and tape over his mouth while he is on fire.
No further studies are planned.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Halloween
this is a cry for help. I am going to a Halloween party next Saturday in San Fransisco (FUN!) but the theme is Famous People. I need ideas BAD! Lucille Ball is already taken :( So come on all of you fabulously creative people- help me out! I would prefer to not to be a man- but if your idea is really good and you can convince me otherwise, then I might do it. So please- post your ideas!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
I have car anxiety
This morning at 3:45 I was awakened to the sound of a car alarm going off. "My car alarm?" (I said to myself, with my heart pounding out of my chest). But I wouldn't know because i have never actually heard my alarm go a full cycle. This alarm went a full cycle and then shut off. Now I am thinking "ok did they smash my window, pop the hood and cut my battery wires?" (As I was so helpfully informed about by the guy at Circuit city who was trying to get me a buy a back up battery for my new alarm system for the nice tidy sum of 89.99) "Do they actually DO that?" I said to him. "Oh yeah in about 3 seconds flat." Thanks super helpful circuit city man with rotting teeth and cigarette breath- you have just made me pee myself everytime I hear a car alarm go off. SO back to my story- I get up, grab my keys to go check it out from my porch- (more like a cement slab, but who's picky?) Of course I cannot see my car from there- it is just ONE space away from the car that I can see- I strain over the railing, but to no avail. I decide that i have to go outside to check it out. Now of course this doesn't happen when my roommates are home so if I get attacked in the parking lot, they will hear me scream. Oh no- they are away at an Institute retreat and I am BY MYSELF. So I quietly sneak out my front door and get a look at my car- but it is still pretty far away, so I can't see it very well, and I am not walking across the dark parking lot by myself at 4 am with possible "car hoodlums" about. So I just go back inside, get back into bed and lay there WIDE awake for another 20 minutes thinking of all of the possible scenarios. I am pretty sure when i fall asleep that my car is going to be gone in the morning. Luckily it was still there, with no harm done. I think I am going to buy that backup battery. It's times like these that I wish I was married and could send the hub outside to see if the car is ok.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Abs-olute Madness
Let it be known that I love Dave Barry- I have an email subscription to his weekly column in the Miami Herald. I haven't been reading it lately because I have been busy doing other really important things like starting a MySpace page. (gag) So today, I got my Dave Barry email and thought I would share it with those that read my blog- few and far between though you are. I felt particularly drawn to this specific column(one guess as to why!) Here you go:
Abs-olute madnessBY DAVE BARRY
(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on June 30, 1996.)
What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles?
I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight. Most of us didn't even realize we had stomach muscles; the only people who ever actually saw them were courageous surgeons willing to cut through fat layers the thickness of the Cleveland white pages.
I'm not saying we weren't in shape; I'm just saying we had a different concept of what the shape should be. For example, our idea of a stud-muffin prototype male was somebody along the lines of George Reeves, who starred in the black-and-white TV version of ''Superman,'' playing the role of the mild-mannered newspaper reporter Clark Kent, whom nobody ever suspected of being Superman because he disguised himself by wearing glasses. (It is a known fact that if you put on glasses, even your closest friends will not recognize you.)
The TV Superman, who was more powerful than a locomotive, did not have visible stomach muscles. In fact, he didn't have much muscle definition at all; he pretty much looked like a middle-aged guy at a Halloween party wearing a Superman costume made from pajamas, a guy who had definitely put in some time around the onion dip. From certain angles, he looked as though he weighed more than a locomotive. But he got the job done. He was always flying to crime scenes faster than a speeding bullet in a horizontal position with his arms out in front of him.
Study question: Did he fly in this position because he had to? Or was it that the public would have been less impressed if he had flown in a sitting position, like an airline passenger, reading a magazine and eating honey-roasted peanuts?
When Superman arrived at the crime scene, he would knock down the door, played by a piece of balsa wood, and confront the criminals, who were usually suit-wearing men with harsh voices. (You had a better-dressed criminal in those days.)
''Superman!'' the criminals would say. This was the signal for Superman to put his hands on his hips so the criminals could shoot their revolvers at his chest, an effort that always caused Superman to adopt a bemused expression because, as a native of Krypton with special powers, he knew that the criminals were shooting blanks. Then Superman would turn the criminals over to the police, played by Irish character actors in their mid-60s, after which he would fly in a horizontal position back to his secret Fortress of Onion Dip.
The point is that, in my era, Superman did not have visible stomach muscles, and neither did Hercules or Tarzan, who needed steel-reinforced vines. But now, suddenly, everybody is supposed to have rippling abdominals -- or ''abs,'' as they're often called. They are hot.
If muscle groups were rock bands, the abdominals would be Hootie and the Blowfish. Turn on your television, and if you do not see a commercial in which a leading economist such as Candice Bergen, Michael Jordan or Whoopi Goldberg explains which long-distance carrier is best for your individual case (answer: whichever one is paying millions of dollars to Candice, Michael or Whoopi), you will see the Abdominals People -- and I do not wish to generalize here, but these people display the intelligence of sherbet -- selling abdominal devices, demonstrating abdominal exercises and, of course, proudly showing off their abdominal muscles, which bulge and writhe beneath a thin, sweaty layer of skin, so that the people look as though they're smuggling pythons down there.
What I want to know is, why is this considered attractive? And how important, really, are abdominal muscles? I mean, I'm sure they serve some medical function, such as keeping your intestines from falling into your lap, but do they have to be huge? Do these people who spend 17 hours a day building up their abdominals ever actually use them for any practical purpose? If so, what? Moving furniture? (''OK, Thad, you push your awesome abs against that end of the bureau, and I'll push mine against this end, and we'll just -- Huh! It's not moving!'')
What I also want to know is: What's next? I mean, when the Abdominals People -- formerly the Biceps People, formerly the Thighs People, formerly the Buns People -- have made all the money they can from our stomachs, where will they go? Are they going to work their way through all of our muscles? Will there come a time, say 10 years from now, when they're going to announce that we all need to build up, say, our eyelid muscles? Will we turn on the TV and see commercials for the Lid-A-Cizer, featuring enthusiastic men and women with form-fitting workout outfits and bulging eyelids the size of golf balls? Are we going to fall for that, too? Or are we going to draw the line somewhere?
Think about it!
And while you're thinking, pass the dip.
Abs-olute madnessBY DAVE BARRY
(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on June 30, 1996.)
What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles?
I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight. Most of us didn't even realize we had stomach muscles; the only people who ever actually saw them were courageous surgeons willing to cut through fat layers the thickness of the Cleveland white pages.
I'm not saying we weren't in shape; I'm just saying we had a different concept of what the shape should be. For example, our idea of a stud-muffin prototype male was somebody along the lines of George Reeves, who starred in the black-and-white TV version of ''Superman,'' playing the role of the mild-mannered newspaper reporter Clark Kent, whom nobody ever suspected of being Superman because he disguised himself by wearing glasses. (It is a known fact that if you put on glasses, even your closest friends will not recognize you.)
The TV Superman, who was more powerful than a locomotive, did not have visible stomach muscles. In fact, he didn't have much muscle definition at all; he pretty much looked like a middle-aged guy at a Halloween party wearing a Superman costume made from pajamas, a guy who had definitely put in some time around the onion dip. From certain angles, he looked as though he weighed more than a locomotive. But he got the job done. He was always flying to crime scenes faster than a speeding bullet in a horizontal position with his arms out in front of him.
Study question: Did he fly in this position because he had to? Or was it that the public would have been less impressed if he had flown in a sitting position, like an airline passenger, reading a magazine and eating honey-roasted peanuts?
When Superman arrived at the crime scene, he would knock down the door, played by a piece of balsa wood, and confront the criminals, who were usually suit-wearing men with harsh voices. (You had a better-dressed criminal in those days.)
''Superman!'' the criminals would say. This was the signal for Superman to put his hands on his hips so the criminals could shoot their revolvers at his chest, an effort that always caused Superman to adopt a bemused expression because, as a native of Krypton with special powers, he knew that the criminals were shooting blanks. Then Superman would turn the criminals over to the police, played by Irish character actors in their mid-60s, after which he would fly in a horizontal position back to his secret Fortress of Onion Dip.
The point is that, in my era, Superman did not have visible stomach muscles, and neither did Hercules or Tarzan, who needed steel-reinforced vines. But now, suddenly, everybody is supposed to have rippling abdominals -- or ''abs,'' as they're often called. They are hot.
If muscle groups were rock bands, the abdominals would be Hootie and the Blowfish. Turn on your television, and if you do not see a commercial in which a leading economist such as Candice Bergen, Michael Jordan or Whoopi Goldberg explains which long-distance carrier is best for your individual case (answer: whichever one is paying millions of dollars to Candice, Michael or Whoopi), you will see the Abdominals People -- and I do not wish to generalize here, but these people display the intelligence of sherbet -- selling abdominal devices, demonstrating abdominal exercises and, of course, proudly showing off their abdominal muscles, which bulge and writhe beneath a thin, sweaty layer of skin, so that the people look as though they're smuggling pythons down there.
What I want to know is, why is this considered attractive? And how important, really, are abdominal muscles? I mean, I'm sure they serve some medical function, such as keeping your intestines from falling into your lap, but do they have to be huge? Do these people who spend 17 hours a day building up their abdominals ever actually use them for any practical purpose? If so, what? Moving furniture? (''OK, Thad, you push your awesome abs against that end of the bureau, and I'll push mine against this end, and we'll just -- Huh! It's not moving!'')
What I also want to know is: What's next? I mean, when the Abdominals People -- formerly the Biceps People, formerly the Thighs People, formerly the Buns People -- have made all the money they can from our stomachs, where will they go? Are they going to work their way through all of our muscles? Will there come a time, say 10 years from now, when they're going to announce that we all need to build up, say, our eyelid muscles? Will we turn on the TV and see commercials for the Lid-A-Cizer, featuring enthusiastic men and women with form-fitting workout outfits and bulging eyelids the size of golf balls? Are we going to fall for that, too? Or are we going to draw the line somewhere?
Think about it!
And while you're thinking, pass the dip.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
welcome to Sacramento
As you can see, my car was broken into this weekend. The stupid thief could't open my car through the locks (although obviously he tried really hard) so he smashed my back window. I have to get the whole driver's side of my car repainted- fix both locks and the window. It's going to cost over 1000 dollars. Luckily my insurance will cover most of it- but now I have to put an alarm system in. I also just spent 300 dollars fixing the stupid car when I got to CA. Hmm... this sounds vaguely familiar- Me putting ALL of my money into a car. Somehow I thought this time would be different since it's a newer car. Silly me.... why would anything go the way I want or need it to? This is me being pessimistic- deal with it.
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